Sunday I took Kelsey to church (did I mention she's LDS too?!) to show here where it was and to introduce her to everyone. It was really fun to see everybody in the ward one last time but it was also more sad than I was expecting. The sister missionaries who had become my substitute grandmothers while there gave me a beautiful gift to keep with me and remember them always. Saying goodbye to them was by far the hardest but I have no doubt that we will keep in touch. After saying goodbye to the other YSAs and an awkward goodbye from Bishop Mamouney it was time to head home and say goodbye to all the kids.
Isabelle and Sigrid were in the hospital for a mother-daughter checkup (yeah I don't know either...?). So I had said my tear-filled goodbyes to them the night before. Saying goodbye to Isabelle was so difficult. As she hugged me, which is not something she was accustomed to, I remembered all the good and bad times that we had throughout the year that had brought us closer than I expected. Not knowing when or if I'll ever see her again made my heartache.
Sunday evening I spent time with Matthias, Rene and the kids eating dinner and watching some more of the world cup. When it was time for the kids to go to bed, I was able to take each one of them separately so I could say goodbye as I tucked them in. Of course Christoph, being the youngest was first. He asked me to read our favorite book, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, one last time together. As I started to read I was totally fine, but as he snuggled up closer to me, my emotions started to really hit me. This was the last time that we would every read this book together and an entire year of frustrations and sweet memories came flooding back to me and the closer I got to the end of the book the harder I would cry. Normally Christoph would get impatient and want me to finish, but he seemed to understand and just let me cry as he continued to cuddle with me. When Matthias came to tell me Fanny was waiting for me, my eyes were in an intense flow. We finished the book and then he gave the sweetest hug that I will never forget. He also promised to visit in America. :) Next, I had a good time playing a quick game of horses with fanny and explaining to her that I wouldn't see her in the morning but I would try to see her again as soon as possible. More tears and a flood of mixed emotions and memories came with Fanny's tender hug goodbye. With Flora, I read a couple of her favorite books and then we listened to our favorite song, "Best Friend", by Will.I.Am from the Madagascar soundtrack. She understood more fully than fanny did that I would not be returning in the morning. As I hugged her, she wrapped her arms and legs around me and refused to let go, making me promise that I would come back someday. Finally it was Timon's turn. I'm going to be honest.... saying goodbye to him was by far the easiest. At first I thought he wasn't even going to hug me or care at all, but he caught be off guard by putting his arm around me and reminiscing the few good moments that we had shared during the year.
Before Rene left, he caught me and kissed both of my cheeks wishing me well in life. And as I started to head off to finish packing Matthias caught me to say goodbye. He shook my hand and expressed his gratitude for my help and friendship. I tried not to cry as he shook my hand but it was a losing battle. When I was finally in my room alone, I was nothing but a puddle as the reality of it all hit me. I was going home in the morning, where I could see my friends and family that I hadn't seen in a year but I was also leaving this wonderful, terrifying, frustrating, magical adventure that had changed my life, and leaving my new family not knowing when I would see them again. The term bittersweet had never felt more real than it did in these moments.
Anybody who knows me knows I don't exactly like to wake up early in the morning. So as I finished packing I had the brilliant idea of just staying up all night since I had to catch my taxi at 5:30 am anyway. I was far to emotional to sleep anyway. I worked on packing until about 2 in the morning when I finally thought it was good enough. I had so much stuff that I was bringing home that I was nervous my bags would be way overweight and I didn't exactly have enough money to cover the ridiculous overcharges. Worrying about that mixed with the emotions I was already dealing with, was literally making me sick. I prayed so hard, so many times that everything would work out ok and at 5:30 I met my taxi outside with my two huge suitcases, my overstuffed backpack with my Doc Martin sandals strapped to the shoulder straps and my 'purse' stuffed with chocolate. During the ride to the airport I conversed with the cabdriver in near-perfect German (he actually thought I was a native) that made me realize even more how much this experience has taught me and how much I will miss it. When what seemed like a lifetime had passed and we were finally at the airport it was time to put my faith to the test and hope that my bags could pass the weight requirement. But first, I had to get all of my bags out of the are because apparently the driver wasn't allowed to help me (lazy excuse). I felt like a one-woman circus act with my backpack, that had sandals flopping around it and all of my other suitcases that seemed to all want to go in different directions at the same time. At the check-in desk I hoisted my huge luggage on up there and help my breath and.... it passed! By the grace of God, they had passed the weight requirement! I took my ticket and carry-ons and carried on down toward security. Once I had made it to my gate they weight of the entire year and the reality that I was really leaving hit me like a thousand bricks. I sat down in a chair and cried like a baby. I was sobbing so hard that people were staring at me like I was a crazy person. I was tired and exhausted from staying up and stressing all night, I was over the moon about seeing my family soon and heartbroken that I was leaving my new family and home. Once the tears started flowing there was no stopping them... They continued to flow as I waited to board all the way until we had been in the air for at least 45 minutes.
And this my friends was only the beginning of the longest day of my life. From Vienna, I flew to Duesseldorf, Germany for a 2 hour layover and then boarded a 12-hour flight to LAX. I was so tired that I felt like a zombie by the time I had found my seat on the second flight. Usually flights this long have individual televisions so people can watch movies and keep their mind off of the fact that they're extremely tired and uncomfortable. But no no, not this one... as tired as I was you'd think that I would have passed right out but for some unknowing and annoying reason I just couldn't so I sat their agonized over every single, uncomfortable second. Flying west means that you go back in time which meant that even though I had been on the plane for 12 hours, only about three hours in the day had passed. This made me feel like I was in some strange time-warp movie and I was almost delirious with exhaustion when I finally reached LAX. I got off of the plain as soon as I could and booked it to customs. As you approach the customs gate there is a hug sign above that reads, "Welcome back to the United States of America." The beauty of that simple statement almost made me start crying all over again and I was overjoyed to be back in the land of the free. The lady who checked my passport was unamused, as they always are, and looked at me like a mental patient as I told here how I happy I was to be here. From there I searched for the next terminal where I would have to recheck everything. This time, my luggage didn't pass the weight requirement. Rigged scale? I think yes. But instead of caving in to the $90 charge to cover 7 lbs, that I couldn't pay for anyway, I was forced to rearrange everything in my perfectly organized suitcases in front of tons of others waiting in line. After an embarrassing shifting session everything had worked out and I was on my way back through my favorite part of flying... security. :( This time my bag with all the chocolate had to be opened and searched, where I proceeded to get questioned about the large and unnecessary quantities. When I finally made it to my final gate I pulled out the phone that I had stored safely the entire year, plugged it in, and sighed a huge sigh of relief at the fact that it still worked. Out of sheer elation, I started calling and texting people starting with my mom of course, just to tell them I was back in the country! Mmmm it felt good. A 4 hour layover, and 3 hour flight later I was riding the escalator down to baggage claim in Salt Lake City. By this point I had been traveling for over a day. Seeing my dad waiting for me at the end was one of my favorite moments of my entire life. I was home. I was older, more experienced, more grown-up, but I was home! Well I guess technically I still had an 8 hour drive until I was REALLY home, but still... I was home!!
A quote to finish off the blog,
"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way every again."
Isabelle and Sigrid were in the hospital for a mother-daughter checkup (yeah I don't know either...?). So I had said my tear-filled goodbyes to them the night before. Saying goodbye to Isabelle was so difficult. As she hugged me, which is not something she was accustomed to, I remembered all the good and bad times that we had throughout the year that had brought us closer than I expected. Not knowing when or if I'll ever see her again made my heartache.
Sunday evening I spent time with Matthias, Rene and the kids eating dinner and watching some more of the world cup. When it was time for the kids to go to bed, I was able to take each one of them separately so I could say goodbye as I tucked them in. Of course Christoph, being the youngest was first. He asked me to read our favorite book, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, one last time together. As I started to read I was totally fine, but as he snuggled up closer to me, my emotions started to really hit me. This was the last time that we would every read this book together and an entire year of frustrations and sweet memories came flooding back to me and the closer I got to the end of the book the harder I would cry. Normally Christoph would get impatient and want me to finish, but he seemed to understand and just let me cry as he continued to cuddle with me. When Matthias came to tell me Fanny was waiting for me, my eyes were in an intense flow. We finished the book and then he gave the sweetest hug that I will never forget. He also promised to visit in America. :) Next, I had a good time playing a quick game of horses with fanny and explaining to her that I wouldn't see her in the morning but I would try to see her again as soon as possible. More tears and a flood of mixed emotions and memories came with Fanny's tender hug goodbye. With Flora, I read a couple of her favorite books and then we listened to our favorite song, "Best Friend", by Will.I.Am from the Madagascar soundtrack. She understood more fully than fanny did that I would not be returning in the morning. As I hugged her, she wrapped her arms and legs around me and refused to let go, making me promise that I would come back someday. Finally it was Timon's turn. I'm going to be honest.... saying goodbye to him was by far the easiest. At first I thought he wasn't even going to hug me or care at all, but he caught be off guard by putting his arm around me and reminiscing the few good moments that we had shared during the year.
Before Rene left, he caught me and kissed both of my cheeks wishing me well in life. And as I started to head off to finish packing Matthias caught me to say goodbye. He shook my hand and expressed his gratitude for my help and friendship. I tried not to cry as he shook my hand but it was a losing battle. When I was finally in my room alone, I was nothing but a puddle as the reality of it all hit me. I was going home in the morning, where I could see my friends and family that I hadn't seen in a year but I was also leaving this wonderful, terrifying, frustrating, magical adventure that had changed my life, and leaving my new family not knowing when I would see them again. The term bittersweet had never felt more real than it did in these moments.
Anybody who knows me knows I don't exactly like to wake up early in the morning. So as I finished packing I had the brilliant idea of just staying up all night since I had to catch my taxi at 5:30 am anyway. I was far to emotional to sleep anyway. I worked on packing until about 2 in the morning when I finally thought it was good enough. I had so much stuff that I was bringing home that I was nervous my bags would be way overweight and I didn't exactly have enough money to cover the ridiculous overcharges. Worrying about that mixed with the emotions I was already dealing with, was literally making me sick. I prayed so hard, so many times that everything would work out ok and at 5:30 I met my taxi outside with my two huge suitcases, my overstuffed backpack with my Doc Martin sandals strapped to the shoulder straps and my 'purse' stuffed with chocolate. During the ride to the airport I conversed with the cabdriver in near-perfect German (he actually thought I was a native) that made me realize even more how much this experience has taught me and how much I will miss it. When what seemed like a lifetime had passed and we were finally at the airport it was time to put my faith to the test and hope that my bags could pass the weight requirement. But first, I had to get all of my bags out of the are because apparently the driver wasn't allowed to help me (lazy excuse). I felt like a one-woman circus act with my backpack, that had sandals flopping around it and all of my other suitcases that seemed to all want to go in different directions at the same time. At the check-in desk I hoisted my huge luggage on up there and help my breath and.... it passed! By the grace of God, they had passed the weight requirement! I took my ticket and carry-ons and carried on down toward security. Once I had made it to my gate they weight of the entire year and the reality that I was really leaving hit me like a thousand bricks. I sat down in a chair and cried like a baby. I was sobbing so hard that people were staring at me like I was a crazy person. I was tired and exhausted from staying up and stressing all night, I was over the moon about seeing my family soon and heartbroken that I was leaving my new family and home. Once the tears started flowing there was no stopping them... They continued to flow as I waited to board all the way until we had been in the air for at least 45 minutes.
And this my friends was only the beginning of the longest day of my life. From Vienna, I flew to Duesseldorf, Germany for a 2 hour layover and then boarded a 12-hour flight to LAX. I was so tired that I felt like a zombie by the time I had found my seat on the second flight. Usually flights this long have individual televisions so people can watch movies and keep their mind off of the fact that they're extremely tired and uncomfortable. But no no, not this one... as tired as I was you'd think that I would have passed right out but for some unknowing and annoying reason I just couldn't so I sat their agonized over every single, uncomfortable second. Flying west means that you go back in time which meant that even though I had been on the plane for 12 hours, only about three hours in the day had passed. This made me feel like I was in some strange time-warp movie and I was almost delirious with exhaustion when I finally reached LAX. I got off of the plain as soon as I could and booked it to customs. As you approach the customs gate there is a hug sign above that reads, "Welcome back to the United States of America." The beauty of that simple statement almost made me start crying all over again and I was overjoyed to be back in the land of the free. The lady who checked my passport was unamused, as they always are, and looked at me like a mental patient as I told here how I happy I was to be here. From there I searched for the next terminal where I would have to recheck everything. This time, my luggage didn't pass the weight requirement. Rigged scale? I think yes. But instead of caving in to the $90 charge to cover 7 lbs, that I couldn't pay for anyway, I was forced to rearrange everything in my perfectly organized suitcases in front of tons of others waiting in line. After an embarrassing shifting session everything had worked out and I was on my way back through my favorite part of flying... security. :( This time my bag with all the chocolate had to be opened and searched, where I proceeded to get questioned about the large and unnecessary quantities. When I finally made it to my final gate I pulled out the phone that I had stored safely the entire year, plugged it in, and sighed a huge sigh of relief at the fact that it still worked. Out of sheer elation, I started calling and texting people starting with my mom of course, just to tell them I was back in the country! Mmmm it felt good. A 4 hour layover, and 3 hour flight later I was riding the escalator down to baggage claim in Salt Lake City. By this point I had been traveling for over a day. Seeing my dad waiting for me at the end was one of my favorite moments of my entire life. I was home. I was older, more experienced, more grown-up, but I was home! Well I guess technically I still had an 8 hour drive until I was REALLY home, but still... I was home!!
A quote to finish off the blog,
"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way every again."
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